I’m Assembling Your Tribe

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Calling all compassionate, driven, kind-hearted, giving, loving, inspirational, fun, joyful, articulate, health-conscious, spiritually curious women that want to love and fully incorporate all of their interesting parts into their lives.

 

I’m looking for women that want to join up with other women like this that share a common thread: they may not be completely comfortable with it just yet, but deep down, they love that they’re unique and they feel incomplete by ignoring it. They have a burning desire to celebrate it and celebrate that same thing in other women as well.

 

Women who may be moms and want to make sure their children get this whole concept too.

Women that want their children to grow up and love who they are and love that uniqueness in the people that they meet in life, too.

 

For me, happiness and fulfillment are influenced by many, many things. But there’s a solid foundation to my happiness and fulfillment that is based on loving who I am, loving what I love and incorporating it all into my everyday life. Instead of compartmentalizing it and keeping my spirituality in a neat little box over here, and my love for holistic healing in a neat box over there, and the fact that I am a mom who wants to set a really positive example for my children over there in that box and the fact that I’m still a woman with dreams to fulfill over here….

 

I love the idea and the practice of acknowledging all of that, everything, and being involved with all of those parts of myself. 

 

What I’m up to right now is this: I’ve been working with/at The Body Mind Spirit Center that’s local to me. We have lots of cool stuff going on right now, with a lot more to come.

I’m putting together a Selfish Mama Group. A tribe. A posse. A gathering of like-minded (yet completely individual women) that want to be the best damn moms they can be….and the best, happiest and most fulfilled women they can be. This group will encourage and facilitate how to better accept ourselves, share our experiences and support one another on this quest to fulfillment.

It’s of the upmost importance to me that I raise happy, healthy, contributing future adults. It’s also of the upmost importance to me that when I’m old and gray (er than I am now) I’m able to look back on my life and be genuinely satisfied with how I spent my time. I want to make sure that I pursued my dreams, was genuinely happy and grateful, treated those that were important to me like gold and that I didn’t waste the resources, gifts and blessings that I had.

 

How about you?

 

This is what I have scheduled for the month of April. Here’s what we’re talking about:

 

♥ Weird You: Using Your Uniqueness to Be a Kick-Ass Mom

 

♥ Giving Mom-Guilt the Boot so You Can Focus on the Good Stuff

 

♥ Kids & Regret: How Mom Sets the Tone for Future Fulfillment  

 

♥ Getting Organized: Tackling Mental & Emotional Clutter

 

I’m all about mixing the practical with the spiritual, personal growth stuff. Because even though we want to be our best, most amazing and happiest versions of ourselves, seek bliss, enlightenment and all that good stuff, we still have to deal with things like clutter, getting lost in our thoughts and worries, feeling bad for taking time for ourselves and feeling happy on a regular basis.

So, my goals for this whole endeavor is to connect women and build a tribe of supportive, like-minded women that are passionate about living genuinely satisfying lives. I want to provide a safe, soothing, relaxing and fun environment for all of this to go down. Also, I want you to walk away with tips and bits of advice that are actually helpful. Things that you can apply to your life starting right now.

If you’re still reading this blog post but you don’t live locally to me and can’t join us at the Shirt Factory in Glens Falls, New York….don’t fear! I am definitely entertaining the idea of offering this online as well. A weekly or bi-weekly call where we’ll have the same type of thing going on….a specific topic that I’ll share, conversation starters and advice to share. Then, the ladies joining in can chat as well. It’ll still be an active discussion.

The thing that I really love about having a workshop or class that is discussion-based is that you get to hear how this affects other women-from their perspective-and that can be such a huge opportunity to learn and grow. If you hear someone that gets what you’re going through and they share how they went through it and what came of it, it can be very inspirational.

Also, you get to share your expertise with other women and help them. Most women love to help others, it’s just in our blood, so when we get to do this, it feels amazing….it’s why I do this. Because I can’t get enough of helping others. It feels so damn good.

Now, there are a lot more details to come and I want you to make sure that you get every little bit that you need in order to join us, whether in person or online.

Please make sure that you like AND subscribe to my Facebook page…that’s where I’ll be posting very current updates on topics and how you can attend one of these really exciting and positive Selfish Mama Groups. Oh man, I can’t wait to see how these go…I really hope to see you there, or talk to you online!

Here’s the link to my Facebook page: Selfish Mama

If you’re not into Facebook, that’s ok too, just make sure you’re on my Newsletter and Updates List by sending me an email here: cozettacorbett@gmail.com

 

Until next time, take care of you, and have fun! Do something today that makes you happy…just because :)

Cozetta xo

 

Getting Older and Loving It

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Hello and welcome back to the blog!

As I sit here contemplating my birthday, which is coming up next month, (the big 3-6!) my thoughts go towards how very caught up with age we as women can get. It’s cultural, I know, but I think we can redirect our thoughts into a more positive direction and save ourselves a lot of stress, sadness and feelings of unworthiness.

As I get older I feel so much more empowered and confident in myself. I love the direction my life is headed, and I love where I am right now. I wouldn’t trade one moment as a 35 year old woman for a year of being 16 again. Noooo way.

I’ve been through a lot and I’m so grateful to say that I’ve become a student of life. I’ve paid attention to reoccurring themes and situations. Was I always that way? No, definitely not. I made a lot of the same types of mistakes for many years and then thankfully over time I started to realize that if I wanted to live the life that my dreams were made of then I had to wise up and pay attention. Change certain behaviors for the sake of the success of my life.

Am I saying all of this because I have everything figured out? Ha, no. But I’d definitely be lying if I said I didn’t love being the age I am with the experiences I’ve had. Is it fantastic and easy to go through the difficulties of life at the time you’re going through them? I think it goes without saying that no, it isn’t. However you need to allow the opportunities for lessons to bubble up and exist so you can learn and live through them. You have to be willing to absorb the new found knowledge that comes with experience. You can certainly just keep your head above water and then move along once the storm has settled, but why waste these golden opportunities for growth and advancement in your life? If you’re going to go through a shitty situation, why not get something positive out of it?

For example, without learning time and again (because this was a tough one for me) to stand up and speak up for myself, I’d still be in a very unhappy and unhealthy marriage, just plugging away for the sake of someone else’s happiness and comfort. I’d also still be hopping from one thankless and meaningless job to the next. I never would have taken the courses and classes necessary to do what I was meant to do, to be able to follow my own unique and personal dreams. I wouldn’t be raising happy and confident future grown-ups. I wouldn’t be married to a man that treats me like I’m the only woman in the world.

And you can’t learn all of these lessons and grow into a person that you are proud to be (and I am) without getting older. The more you live, the more you learn. So, instead of seeing aging as a sad fact of life, I embrace and appreciate it. I really do. Sometimes when I mention this to other women, they point out how much harder they’ve had it than I have (to which I laugh-experiences and the level of difficulty you’ve experienced is relative to your perspective)  so I don’t really know what I’m talking about. Ah, giggle. Another interesting thing-if they would be open to hearing how aging affects me, maybe it could help them to not only come to terms with aging but it could help them to appreciate and almost look forward to it too.

I know that the culture we live in (in America anyway) tells us that young, bouncy-boobed women are beautiful and valuable and once your value as a woman peaks at about 25, it’s all wrinkles and cellulite from there on out. This is a big, crazy and negative theme that is in place for materialistic reasons. Which are transient and don’t matter. Just take a moment and look at just how many makeup, hairstyling/color, skin cream and anti-aging products exist. More than I could possibly count right now. I love putting myself together and looking nice, but if we all just woke up tomorrow and didn’t care about this, how many companies would go out of business? They’re relying on you feeling less than your beautiful self to make money and stay in business. Again, they’re not all evil, wearing makeup and getting my nails and hair done is all fun and I enjoy it, but I don’t NEED it to feel important and valuable. Does that make sense?  Having fun and expressing yourself through these things is fine and lovely but once your self-worth is wrapped up in wearing the right shade of eye shadow or making sure your grays are colored, that’s when you should reevaluate why you’re doing what you’re doing.

You’re beautiful, important and you matter. You have something of value to contribute and you will continue to have even more knowledge and wisdom that you can share with others as you get older. Aging is a blessing. It’s a gift. Enjoy every step of your life. Don’t waste any time on wishing you were younger. It isn’t going to happen so it’s a waste of your energy. Love yourself no matter what age you are.

In the Pagan community there are groups of women that get together and celebrate once a woman reaches a certain age. They have a Croning ceremony and it’s beautiful. Candles are lit, incense is burning and there’s a very intimate and meaningful exchange of readings and sentiments about the woman of honor. There’s wine, a fabulous meal and these women truly celebrate the time when a woman is past the childbearing age and is considered a wiser and older version of herself. She has new things to offer those around her and there is nothing sad or shameful about it.

I would love to see this become a regular practice for our culture as a whole. Instead of women worrying about their men finding newer, younger models to parade around, I’d love to see us all confident that he will cherish and honor the life experience that we have. And, just for the record, Mama, if your man (or woman) ever replaces you strictly for age-related purposes, the problem is with them, not you. Please don’t let their confused actions dictate how you feel about yourself.

How do you feel about aging? Is it scary or are you completely comfortable with it?

Either way, I hope this short blog has helped you become more comfortable with and appreciative of your aging process. It’s tough to come to terms with, I know, but it’s all in how you look at it.

If you’d like more help with this, let me know, I’d be happy to chat with you about it.

Until next time, I hope you have a fantastic week and don’t forget to take care of you!

 

Cozetta xo

 

Mini Vision Boards

Hello and welcome!

 

If you’re here, then you’re either curious about making a mini vision board, or you received a mini vision board kit from me.

Yay!

You’re probably familiar with the general idea behind making vision boards but let me quickly go over the what and the why just in case.

Vision boards are based on the idea that what the mind conceives,  it can achieve, what you think about you bring about, what you focus on expands…the law of attraction etc.

When there’s something in your life that you want to see, do, feel or achieve, you should focus your attention and energy on that. Sometimes it’s one main thing, sometimes it’s a few things and sometimes it’s a lot of things. Most importantly, you want to make sure you’re choosing to represent things on your vision board that will make you feel a certain way. If you decide you want to include a particular image, just be confident that you’re adding that image, word etc because of how it makes you feel, not because you think it’s something you should add.

For example, say you want more money in your life. It’s better to figure out why you want more money-is it that you want to live a luxurious, high maintenance lifestyle or is it that you want financial security, knowing that your bills are paid with little stress or anxiety? The more specific and accurate you get with how you want to feel, the more precise you can be with your words and images and the more successful your vision boarding will be.

You can pick x amount of things you’d like to bring into your life over, say, the coming year. This is a great activity to do right around New Year’s Eve, but can be done anytime that you want to bring some new things into your life.

You don’t need many items, just a piece of poster board, card stock or cardboard, some magazines to clip words and images from, scissors, glue, ribbons, markers, glitter and anything else you would want to decorate and embellish your vision board with.

You can use pictures from your life, postcards, note cards, birthday cards, anything that has a quote, word or image that you want to see, or that reminds you of how you want to feel on your vision board.

You can pick a single word that you really want to focus on such as ‘love’ or ‘wealth’ or ‘joy’. Or, you can include an overall theme of what you’d like your life to look like and include a variety of words and pictures.

There are really fun online options if you’re less into the arts and crafts aspect of a traditional vision board but I personally love getting my hands on everything and creating something tangible.

Studies show that if you give your attention and focus to what you want to bring into your life, it works. The more intentional you are, the more likely it is that you can have and feel the things that you want. If you’ve read or watched The Secret, then you know what I’m talking about here. It’s really fascinating to hear other people talk about how being focused on their goals has helped them achieve great things. A vision board isn’t necessarily magical (or is it?) but if kept in a place where you’ll see it regularly, it can reinforce your goals, dreams and desires and if nothing else, remind you of what to keep working for. What opportunities to look out for…to keep you on track when there are so many distractions that we face on any given day.

You know how companies typically have a Mission Statement? The purpose of a mission statement is to keep the company focused on what it is they’re all about, what their goals are, who they want to help and serve, what their purpose is. A vision board is your own creative and visual Mission Statement, keeping you focused on what’s important to you and where you’re headed.

Now, it’s time to have some fun….

Set the scene for a fun morning, afternoon or evening by creating a pocket of time where you can just relax and let yourself dream.

Turn off your phone and any other distractions, play some relaxing music, light a candle, make yourself a cup of tea or pour yourself a glass of wine.

Next you’ll just want to get comfortable and let your mind wander as you think about what you’re missing in your life, or what you want to experience more of….

You can use a journal or scrap of paper if it helps to get your thoughts out…and don’t worry about everything making sense or looking good-this is just to help figure out what direction you should take with your vision board.

Once you’ve comfortably settled on a strong feeling you’re looking for, start looking for images and words that support that feeling. If you’re making  a mini vision board, sticking to just one feeling might be best for right now due to the space you have to work with. You can always expand on that and make a larger vision board later on if you’d like to.

I hope this helps you to focus on one great thing that you’d like to feel more of in your life. Let me know how it goes, and after you’ve finished your mini vision board, I would LOVE to see it! Please share it on Instagram with the hashtag #selfishmamavisionboard or you can share it on my Facebook page, Selfish Mama. I’ll be sharing and uploading some of the mini vision boards that I make, too.

 

Until next time, don’t forget to take care of you!

 

Cozetta xo

 

Love From Where You Are

from where you are

 

 

My message this week is short, sweet and simple.

 

 

Love.

 

 

It’s what we all want, it’s what we all need. It’s what makes the tough days more tolerable. It’s what makes you feel wanted, important and cared for. When you can share your heart and soul with another, whether romantically or otherwise (and there are so many different variations of love out there) it gives life vibrancy and purpose.

I think we all have certain expectations of what love should look and feel like.

Because of this, I think we can be disappointed in how love actually looks and feels in our life. We may have sad, empty memories of our childhood because maybe our parents didn’t show us enough attention as children, they didn’t support us enough or treat us as kindly as our adolescent selves would have loved. Maybe our significant other doesn’t want to spend enough time with us or bring home flowers as often as we would like them to, they don’t chip in with the housework often enough or perhaps they only seem to complain about our hard work not being good enough.

As rough as all of this can be, I think it’s worth considering also that maybe the people we’re in relationships with aren’t satisfied with how we love them. Maybe we spend too much time working or focusing on our hobbies. Maybe we don’t hug enough or say ‘I love you’ as often as we could. I know it can be difficult to look at things from this perspective but I think we should be willing to, for the sake of the happiness of those that we love, and in turn, to improve the quality of our relationships.

I think what’s important to remember, and this goes for both sides, is that we are all loving from our best place at any given moment. Can we improve? Definitely. But just because someone isn’t all that you want them to be, doesn’t make them a bad person and the same goes for you. It all boils down to being understanding and also being open to having vulnerable and honest conversations about what your expectations are.

A really helpful book to check out is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In his book Gary explains how everyone has specific things that make them feel loved and important. There are basically five different categories that will clue you in on what would make you happy (sometimes it’s hard to figure out) and what would make the other person you’re in a relationship with happy. If nothing else, it can help you get the conversation rolling and find out more about yourself and the other person.

So even if there is room for improvement on your end, or on someone else’s I think it’s great to just begin by loving where you are right now. You may not be perfect (but will you ever really be?) and your significant other may not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t love from a great place, from where you are right now.

I hope you had a great Valentine’s Day whether you’re single, spoken for or somewhere in between.

Remember to love yourself, from where you are right now. And try to be understanding if someone isn’t loving you exactly how you’d like them to. Talk to them. Be honest and vulnerable, it’s the only way you’ll get what you’re hoping for. And be prepared to hear what they have to say, too. Be willing to show them that you love them. But beyond all that, just love from where you are.

 

I hope you have an amazing week, and don’t forget to take care of you!

 

Cozetta xo

 

Make Life Beautiful

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Welcome back!

 

I’ve been thinking lately about how to include more beauty into my life. How can I enjoy my life more through my five senses?

I have this strong desire to really live and experience my life. As humans we’re gifted with five (or six if we’re counting our intuition) really interesting and cool senses.

I want to enjoy life, more often than not. I want to encourage this for others, too.

When we ignore the beauty around us, life is bland, it’s boring. For me anyway.

If I surround myself with things I find beautiful, if I take care of myself and wear things that make me feel beautiful and if I listen to great music, taste delicious foods and beverages, get massages, wear oils and perfumes that I love and pay attention to what my intuition is telling me, life is just a gorgeous experience. It really is.

Over the next couple of months I’ll be sprucing things up at home. Winter is drawing to a close and I’ll be decorating for spring. This means using brighter and fresher colors and textures, burning candles with lighter, floral scents and eating more raw vegetables than I have been in the colder months.

I’ll also start wearing lighter colors and lighter fabrics. I’ll be swapping my perfumes for Patchouli-lavender oils as well as more energizing scents like ginger and citrus. I’m getting new glasses, too. I’m pretty excited about this one. I plan to wear my contacts a whole lot more now but I’m going to buy new glasses that are lighter on my face-I have a black pair right now and I’m just craving frames that are less dominant.

I’ll also be brainstorming for my garden, too. We’re planning a big move this summer so I won’t be planting in the ground this year but I don’t want to miss out on enjoying fresh vegetables and herbs that have been picked only moments before eating them and that are warmed by the sun. There’s nothing like it. So I’m going to use a few containers this year that’ll move pretty easily with us. Then next year…watch out-I’ll have a huge and amazing (and hopefully very successful) garden.

I’ve been listening to more music lately. I don’t always love what’s on the radio so I don’t spend a lot of time listening to music. When I’m home and alone I just savor the quiet. It’s rare that you’ll find me at home alone with the TV on.

There was a time in my life though, that I loved, loved, loved listening to music and I forget sometimes just how much I enjoyed it. So when I tap into that here and there I’m reminded and it’s really, really nice. Lately I’ve been enjoying Daniel John’s new solo album. Back in my 90’s Alt-Rock loving days I loved listening to silverchair and saw them live, too. One of the first songs I learned to play on guitar was ‘Tomorrow’ so I was really excited to find out Daniel (sure, we’re on a first name basis) was putting out some new music. I have to say, it is really different from silverchair’s music but I’m loving it. It’s unique, it’s cool and it’s very chill. If you’re a fan of his, or even if you’re not, you may like it.

Oh, and foods. The more I learn and grow, the more intentional with the things I eat and drink I become. I’m just not happy with sub-par foods (and wine) anymore. I don’t have over the top or crazy-indulgent expectations for things but I don’t want to waste my time or calories on things that I don’t love. I shop better this way and my budget goes for exactly what I know I will enjoy (with a few experimental exceptions here and there). I want to make sure I’m eating clean, whole foods, locally grown if possible that nurture my body and taste great too. As far as wine goes, I just looove a glass of wine. But I suggest avoiding the bottles that go on sale. It just isn’t worth it. Spend another $5-10 and get something that will be worth your time and money.

 

 

And that’s about all I have planned for right now. I hope this blog post gave you some ideas on how to infuse a little more beauty and enjoyment into your life. You’re worth it, Mama and I hope you have a beautiful life 😀

 

Until next time, I hope you have a wonderful week and don’t forget to take care of you!

 

Cozetta xo

 

Is Woo New to You?

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Hello and welcome back!

It means a lot to me that you’re here, right now, reading this blog post. I love writing and I love sharing with you and I know that your time is important to you, so thank you.

This week I wanted to talk about the art of balancing the woo and the practical everyday type of stuff.

I personally could just get lost in the the woo. I love talking about how to get in touch with your soul or higher self, how to meditate, the benefits of Reiki, chakras, aromatherapy, medicinal herbs, the law of attraction, holistic nutrition and healing…..all of it.

I also really like to make to-do lists, organize my home, set goals and get shizz done.

Most people that I’ve spoken with would love to be more organized and on top of things….but I’m curious….is woo new to you?

I have friends and family members that like to get all woo-y with me and I have friends and family members that don’t at all. It’s great, though, I have people in my life that help me stay balanced.

I think it’s so great to grow, to learn and to change your life in the areas that you want to see improvements in. And it’s very easy to get lost in a world of namaste, green juices, being called “sister” and having wellness pros really mean it when they wish you well. Oh, it’s just to nice and welcoming. It’s cocoon-like and I love it there. There are times when I don’t want to leave. Let me bask in the glow of my Himalayan salt lamp while my oil diffuser fills the air with the sweet and soothing scents of lavender and sandalwood. That’s actually the exact environment I’m in right now, lol.

Sometimes though, you have to just file your taxes, check your credit score and unclog your pipes (or find someone to help with that).

For me, it’s really important to dabble in both worlds. If I’m not staying on top of my responsibilities, I get very distracted, start feeling pretty bad about my abilities to adult and raise responsible future adults and there is no way I can live in the moment. So, I have a detailed planner with tasks and goals lined up almost daily, although I tend to skip Saturdays and especially Sundays. This helps me stay on top of things so I’m not distracted by things that I don’t really love to spend my energy on.

For the most part though, I spend my time and energy doing things like performing Reiki sessions on myself and others, wearing my favorite essential oils, burning incense and staying in touch with my true self and my desires. This stuff is so important to my overall happiness.

You know how I’m always talking about putting yourself first and making sure your cup is full so you can help others? Well, this is Step One for me. I fill my woo well and I’m able to be a calm, steady and loving presence for my family. Every so often, when it’s necessary, I pause just a little bit so I can pay the electric bill and meal plan for the week.

So, how do you keep one foot firmly planted in the “real world” while following your intuition and dancing naked around the fire? Just kidding, no naked dancing going on over here, lol!

Do you feel like you have to work on being a bit more responsible and on top of things? How about your spiritual, personal side? Does that need some extra attention from you?

Let me know in the comments below, I’d love to know :)

 

Until next time, I hope you have a fantastic week and don’t forget to take care of you!

 

Cozetta xo

 

Be True to You

Be true to you.

Hello & Welcome Back!

I wanted to talk to you this week about being in touch with what really matters to you and staying true to that so you can live your life from a really strong, centered place.

Life is swirling all around us, all the time. It’s getting more and more fast-paced and overwhelming too. There’s just so much to keep up with, learn about, do, schedule, attend, take part in, volunteer for, clean, cook, run, work out, contend with, defend, solve, compromise and balance.

I know how easy it can be to go into autopilot mode and just do what you have to do to survive. And there are definitely different phases in life where you just need to get by. For example, when you have a newborn (and possibly a toddler and preschooler, too), when you’ve lost a loved one, when you move or begin a new career, are going through college (especially with any of these other events going on, too). There are times when you just have to live and get by. These times don’t last forever though, thankfully, and when you’re living your life at a more normal pace, you have to make sure you’re not in autopilot mode anymore. You can’t stay there.

Being in touch with and living in your own integrity is what makes your life yours. It’s what makes it unique and important. It’s what makes you feel fulfilled and happy. Life isn’t meant to just be coasted through. Life is meant to be lived, explored and loved.

You have to want to live your life for you. Once you decide this, you must declare it and take action. Reading this blog post and wanting to live a more authentic life is great, but without action, it doesn’t actually create the change you’re looking for.

I’m going to share a pretty direct and simple method to get to this place of living in your integrity. There’s so much that you can do to align with what’s important to the evolution of your soul but I want you to get in touch with one thing. Just one thing. And then apply these action steps to the next thing, and the next.

 

  1. So, first you have to pick something. Something that’s important to you. If you want to choose something small to get your feet wet and gradually build your confidence, that’s great. If you want to pick something huge, then pick that. Go ahead and blow yourself away with making things happen for you. It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small, because we’re going to work at it little by little. The important thing to remember here is to just get started taking action. Make a declaration and create some momentum.

Let’s say that one of the most important things to you is to have a healthier body.

 

2.  Alright, let’s talk about why this is important to you. Do you value healthy people? Do you like the image they              present? Is it about being ‘skinny’ or is it about something deeper? Get good and familiar with your why. This              will motivate you when things get tough, which they probably will. Change isn’t easy and if it was, we’d all be                 living perfect, ideal lives.

Now, maybe having a healthy body is important to you because it represents strength and self-love. You may not necessarily worry about impressing other people so it isn’t about that. However, you do want the world to know that you are strong and that you value yourself enough to take care of your physical health. So after working through all of this, you realize that on a deeper level, this is important to you not because you want to have a smokin’ hot body when you’re at the beach (awesome bonus, though) but you want to have a healthy, fit body because it is a reflection of your true inner self. And your true inner self is strong, it’s vital, it has deep love and respect for you. Your inner self (higher self, soul etc) wants the world to know this! Why? Because then everyone will know how you should be treated, respected and viewed. If you love and respect yourself, then everyone else will get on board. Also because it will encourage others to do the work and figure out what’s important to them, and how they want the world to see and treat them.

 

3. Once you get here, to your real why it’s time to create a plan filled with little bitty action steps to get to that                    bigger goal.

You want a healthier body, right? And for very good, solid and valuable reasons.

So, you want to break this up into easier, more doable chunks.

 

*Start by drinking more water everyday. That’s a really simple first step. Make it fun by making a chart that you put little checkmarks or stickers on for every glass of water you have. Buy a cute water bottle or two. Set goals for yourself: drink half of my daily intake by lunchtime. Drink the other half before dinner, and anything after that is just a bonus.

*Nailed that step? Next, add in more vegetables to your diet. Eat something green with every meal. Experiment with a new vegetable at each dinner. How many different colors of veggies can you eat in a day? Try different types of protein….these small mini-goals will make it more fun to eat healthier, and that’s a huge step in having a strong, vital body.

*Set goals with timelines and then reward yourself! Get a manicure, a pedicure, go see a movie, do whatever is exciting, is in your budget and feels like a reward. Celebrate every little thing, it’ll make you want to continue.

*After you’re doing well with this, add in some activity. Join a gym (and stick to a schedule), sign up for something like Daily Burn, walk every evening after dinner with a friend, join a kickboxing class (one of my favorites) or take up yoga. Pick something, put it on your schedule/calendar and make it happen.

 

Before you know it, you’ve gone from feeling unhealthy and bummed about it, to a strong, vital person living a healthy lifestyle. Little changes lead to big changes.

 

Keep at all of this. These small changes will grow into bigger changes with results that will lead you closer and closer to your goal, plus you’ll be walking a lot taller, knowing you’re living in integrity with your soul, and that is priceless.

 

Use this method with anything that feels off and out of alignment. Need some help with this? It can be really helpful to get a little outside perspective to help you zero in on what you need to do for yourself. Leave a comment below with one thing that just doesn’t feel right that you’d love to change. I’ll hop in and help you out :)

Until next time, have a fantastic week and don’t forget to take care of you!

Warm hugs & high fives,

Cozetta xo

 

Organizing in the New Year

Have an organizedand low stress 2016!

 

Hello! Welcome back!

 

Last time we talked about getting clear on what you want to create and experience in 2016. This week I want to talk to you about creating space to allow those things to happen.

Your environment affects your life so much more than you may think. When you live in a cluttered home and have to move stuff to find stuff, it’s frustrating and leads to a feeling of overwhelm and of just keeping your head above water.

When you have to wash dishes before you can make dinner, takeout becomes a much more appealing option. And, if one of your goals for the year is to eat healthier, then you want to be able to cook your meals as often as possible. You want it to be as easy as it can be, too. You already have to plan, shop and prep your foods, so if you also have to clean before you can cook, there’s a good chance you’ll throw in the towel more often.

Have you ever had someone stop by unexpectedly and were embarrassed because of the condition of your home? That’s pretty awful. I’ve definitely been embarrassed before, but I also have a pretty firm policy (and most people in my life know this) that if you don’t call or text first, you get what you get when you show up. I may be in my pajamas, I may be drinking a glass of wine with lunch….you never know what you might discover if you pop by unexpectedly. However, it does still stress me out a bit and I’m much happier if the dishes are done and toys are put away (and I’m dressed and not dipping into a bottle of Merlot mid-afternoon). Also, not everyone feels comfortable having that type of policy, and if that’s you then I’m sure you’d rather your house be put together.

And just to clear the air, I’m not talking about having a pristine, Better Homes and Gardens photo shoot ready house, 24/7. That’s unrealistic, especially if you live with children, am I right?

What I’m talking about it having a space that is easy to keep up with, looks nice and feels relaxing.

Maybe you’re waiting until you move into a nicer house, or have nicer furniture before you really go all out and have a clean and tidy home. Or it might just all feel like too much. Maybe it’s been forever since you’ve cleared out your junk drawer and organized your pantry and cupboards. Maybe things fall out of your closet when you get dressed every morning and the thought of ALL that you have to do to make a difference is just too much.

I’m a firm believer in preparing for the life you want. If you create the space and opportunity for good things to come your way, then they’ll find a way to you. For example, waiting to live in a nicer home (or to be able to afford a nicer car) before you start keeping things clean and put away just keeps you in a place of waiting……and that nicer home or car may never happen for you. But, if you start keeping things the way you want them now, you’re allowing for the space necessary to welcome a nicer home or car. If you’re not constantly distracted by messiness and less-than-cleanliness, then you won’t even be able to look up and notice when an opportunity comes your way, and you’ll definitely lack the mental gutzpah to create opportunities yourself.

Being surrounded by lots of messiness is distracting and stressful. You may not realize it initially, but it’s there, like a constant underlying current of stress.

I want to share with you three things that I do, and plan to do even more this year to have a tidier, cleaner, more organized home.

Create a big ‘ol To Do List. On this list I want you to write down anything that is bugging you about your home. Things you need to do to have a calmer, more organized space. Things like purging your clothes and donating unwanted/unworn items, cleaning out your refrigerator, replacing the faded or outdated curtains in your bedroom, reorganizing your Christmas decor, creating an at-home office so you can find your checkbook and stamps when you need them, clearing off a counter and keeping it that way, tossing all of those mismatched tupperware lids etc. This may seem like a daunting task, but it really isn’t. Just getting things down on paper or onto a digital list can actually be pretty empowering as well as freeing.

I refer to a list like this in my book as a Progress list. Once you have all of those things out of your head, and on a list, you can begin to tackle these tasks one by one. I don’t know about you, but checking things off feels so good. And as you complete these jobs, you’ll be creating momentum in your life. You will feel amazing and have the confidence and pride (in yourself and your home!) to keep going with even bigger things.

Create a cleaning schedule. I have a daily list that includes cleaning the kitchen (wash & put away dishes, take the garbage out, clean and clear all surfaces), doing a quick tidy of all the rooms, keeping up with the laundry (1-2 loads a day) and sweeping and mopping throughout (I don’t necessarily mop every day but with hardwood floors, I do need to sweep a lot). I also have a weekly schedule that breaks down a deeper clean day by day. So, on Monday I clean the bathroom, on Tuesday I clean my daughter’s room, on Wednesday I clean my sons’ room, on Thursday I clean the living room and dining room and on Friday I clean my bedroom. I take the weekend off for major cleaning, just doing what needs to be done daily.

This can be complex or very simple. I suggest making it as simple as possible, at least in the beginning. You can add on as you get into a routine. Also, if you’re looking for some more ideas or want to incorporate monthly, quarterly or annual cleaning projects to your schedule, head to Pinterest. There are about a bajillion pins leading to articles and charts that you can be inspired by.

Enlist help. Get everyone in your family on board. Create a fun chore chart with stickers and check marks and anything else that will make it more fun to do chores. We have one in our family, with particular chores assigned to each person, and you get a sparkley smiley face sticker every time you complete one. And then, (here’s the really fun part) when everyone reaches a certain number of stickers they get to choose a prize out of a prize basket. You can customize the prizes as much as you want to. I include things that I know each of my kids will love to get. Gum, lollipops, stickers, small notebooks, cool pens or markers, PlayDoh, Pokemon cards, yoyos, small Lego kits…..and if you want to create a prize basket for yourself, well, that would be a lot of fun, too.

If it’s in your budget, you can also hire someone to help you clean your house either one time to help with a big project or on a regular basis. I’ve yet to do this, but it’s on my list for this year. You can also hire an organizing expert. If you really need help in this area, reach out. You may also have a friend or relative that enjoys this kind of thing and would do it for free or in exchange for a home cooked meal. You never know until you ask.

 

So, that is a bit of what I do to keep things fairly orderly and clean. Please know that I do not have a perfect house, and there are days when you walk in and it looks like I don’t do a single thing I’ve mentioned above. But, we have three young children, lots of family activities, jobs, projects and life going on. So things aren’t perfect, but I do try to improve upon things as I can, teach the kids to pick up after themselves (a work in progress of course) and above all, keep a happy home.

Did you find any of my tips helpful? Was it nice to hear that things aren’t perfect at my house? I know that a lot of us put some pretty tough expectations on ourselves and sometimes it’s helpful to hear that we’re not alone in our struggle to provide a clean, organized and tidy home for our family.

Let me know in the comments below what you struggle with and, if you could wave a magic wand or hire someone to help you, what’s the number one thing you’d want to improve in your home?

Until next time, I hope you have a fantastic week, and remember to take care of you!

Warm hugs & high fives,

Cozetta xo

 

 

 

 

Anything is Possible

www.selfishmama.com

 

Happy New Year!

 

With the beginning of a New Year, I’m sure you’re hearing lots about new beginnings and resolutions. Everyone kind of gets on board with starting fresh and doing the things you really meant to do last year, or the year before, or the year before. As a result, you may have reinstated your gym membership, filled your fridge with lots of green, healthy foods or decided to spend more time with your family.

I love the New Year. I think it’s the perfect time to realign yourself with your goals, dreams and unfulfilled wishes. I tend to avoid setting resolutions and prefer to set a theme or even a few themes for the upcoming year, and then from there decide what I’d like to accomplish and experience. It’s also really great to look back at the past year and celebrate, even if for just a quick little moment by yourself, all of the wonderful things you achieved and experienced. I like to create a “Top Ten Highlights of 2015” list.

I usually begin loosely planning the next year in the Fall. This year though, I just wasn’t feeling it. I don’t know if it was that I was distracted with other projects or if it just wasn’t quite time for me to be doing it, but it didn’t happen. I honestly just sat down and did this activity for myself over the past weekend. I try not to force this because usually I’m really excited to sit down, dream and plan, and in my opinion, when it comes to creation, there needs to be a natural and inspired flow. You can encourage yourself and designate a specific time to get busy with creating, and sometimes that works really well, but it just didn’t feel right to me for this.

I know it’s mid-January now, but it’s most definitely still early enough to create an outline for yourself for 2016. I feel great having done it, I feel like I’m ready to go now and begin making great things happen. I’m going to share with you what I do, and what I’ve come up with for this year for myself.

 

First, I spend some quiet time just getting in touch with how I’ve been feeling lately. What issues keep popping up? Am I stressed or overwhelmed? What exactly about? One main issue this year that I discovered is that I’ve been worrying about anything and everything. I’ve been worrying about crazy things that are completely out of my control. Things that don’t typically happen in one’s lifetime. This has caused me to be distant and distracted and a little on edge at times. Slowing down and realizing this is such a great first step. Now that I’ve very honestly identified what I’m doing and how I’m feeling, I can redirect my energy and thoughts into what I’d like to create for myself and how I can help others.

My main word, or theme for 2016 is Chill. I want to chill right out, and r-e-l-a-x. Life is what it is, I’m not in control of everything, not even close, so I might as well enjoy it as much as possible and do my best to be present and contribute positively to those around me. This includes releasing any worry about whether or not I’m offending others, or if they’re going to be defensive or upset with my decisions or actions. I consider myself a very conscientious person and am very considerate (probably 90% of the time) of how I make other people feel. But, there has to be a limit. Some people are very easily offended by things that have absolutely nothing to do with them. And that’s their deal. I can’t change that. All I can do is live my best life, and hope it has a positive ripple effect.

I’m also going to be focusing on Finances. I want to become a bit more responsible, have a squeaky clean credit report, and buy a beautiful home. No more woops, I paid our electric bill a week late, I forgot what the due date was. It’s silly, unnecessary irresponsibility that’s hurting things in this department. So, I’m creating systems to make sure things are paid early and in full so I’m not paying late fees and being held back from my dreams for, like I said, really silly mistakes.

My physical Health is right up there too. During the last part of 2015, I really kicked it up and began working out very regularly, making sure I was drinking enough water, eating well and getting a good night’s sleep. I lost some weight and gained a ton of energy, confidence and flexibility. Quick note: this was during the holidays. Just sayin’. 😉 I definitely indulged and enjoyed myself but I’m walking my talk and that feels soo goooood.

I’ll be zeroing in on Growth and Success in my business. This may sound generic and obvious for a business goal, but it’s actually pretty personal. For me, this means expanding and offering new ways for my clients, readers and subscribers to help themselves live a better life. I have different levels of offers, from free to slightly premium. I still want everything I do to be accessible to as many people as possible. Everyone has the right to live a healthier and happier life if they choose. So, this year I’m going to reach out and begin teaching online, which is really exciting for me. I love coaching, I love teaching and I love the freedom and unlimited potential for growth this option presents for me. I could teach one person or I could teach a billion people with online courses. They’ll be offered at different price points, too. And these courses I’ll be offering are going to be fun, easy to follow and exciting to implement. I can’t wait to officially release them, and I would love for you to sign up and come along.

You’re also going to be seeing a lot more of me. I hate to say it but I’ve been pretty lax with my Consistency. So what that means is I’ll be much more active on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, here on my blog and with sending out my newsletters. People just aren’t going to know how I can help them if I’m not out there on a regular basis. So, I hope that’s cool and I hope to see you on the web. I’m thinking about doing live coaching sessions on Facebook, which will be so fun! And, this is a free way to get some one-on-one coaching and help with whatever you’re dealing with in your life. I’m also going to be hosting giveaways on my YouTube channel-I love giving gifts and having fun wrapping them, so this is going to be another fun way to interact with everyone.

 

So, that’s my direction for 2016. I just went with what I was feeling, and what I need to do to be able to experience the way I want to feel more often, and to step into my power even more. This will bring with it more of alllll the good things. When I’m feeling my best, I can continue to do my best and therefore offer my best to the world.

 

Now, to help get your gears turning, I’ll share with you five of my top ten highlights from 2015.

These are in no particular order, and there is so much more to celebrate from 2015, but these are top on my mind right now.

  1. Mike and I (finally) got married. Yes, we did things a little differently than most people (like waiting eight years to get married and becoming parents first,  lol). But, we finally did it, and it was perfect. image
  2. I published my first book! Huge bucket list item for me. This was a big deal, and I’m still really proud of myself for making this happen. (Click on the image below and it’ll take you right to Amazon where you can get a paperback or Kindle copy for yourself).Selfish_Mama_3D_EBOOK_COVER
  3. Mike celebrated his one year anniversary with the company he works for. After trying to figure out what he was going to do career-wise after graduating from college, I think he’s found his place. He loves his job and it brings with it security and that’s an amazing thing for a family to have. I’m grateful for this every.single.day. And would you just look at him? *so dreamy*image
  4. The kids and I were in my sister-in-law’s wedding on New Year’s Eve and it was really fun! We wore beautiful dresses and tuxes (Vera Wang of course) and were pampered all day long. It was a really great experience and I’m so glad I was able to have it with my 3 mini-mes. image
  5. Lily started preschool. I know that this makes a lot of moms sad (and it has that affect on me too, a little) but this has been such a great experience for her. Being around other children and other adults has helped her find her way and become more of who she is. She’s really grown into a kind, loving, sweet and compassionate little lady. She has gone from being a mischievous toddler to a really cool person to spend time with. I think she has really benefited from the structure and the variety of play that preschool offers.image

 

So that’s pretty much it for my New Year’s routine. I hope this was helpful and insightful for you. Let me know in the comments below if you have a routine of your own, how you feel about starting fresh in a new year, or if you found any of this interesting or helpful.

 

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#BathroomSelfie

And, I promise, the #RBF in this picture was unnecessary, lol, I was having fun!

 

 

I hope you have a fantastic week, and be sure to take care of you.

Warm fuzzies,

Cozetta xo

Halloween Crafternoon

Since 1931

 

So the spooky Halloween season is upon us…is it really a season? I don’t know, but October feels like Halloween season to me, lol. I started decorating during the last week of September and the house looks pretty cute. I’ll probably keep adding things in here and there throughout the month.

I kicked this month off by co-hosting a Halloween Crafternoon, which is just about the cutest word I’ve ever heard. I can’t wait to have a Christmas Crafternoon, too.

For this spooky little afternoon, I invited a group of ladies that I thought would enjoy something like this, picked a time and date and put together a very simple menu of snacks.

I got everyone’s feedback on a craft and we set a budget of $20 per person.

 

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I shopped for grapevine wreaths, sparkly pumpkins, ribbon, little accents and ornaments and I also picked up a new, bigger glue gun.

I went to Target, JoAnn’s and the Dollar Tree. I did a little mix and match of supplies, which worked out really well.

When we got together, I laid everything out on two tables and explained that everyone could pick and choose what they’d like to have on their wreath. (See my YouTube video showing everything I picked up).

 

For snacks, we kept it very simple, we had brie and crackers, cream cheese, pepper jelly and blue tortilla chips, apple cake and Oatmeal Scotchie cookies.

 

My daughter Lily came along, too, she is such a huge fan of crafting anything and everything (just like her Mama!). I picked out a few special crafts just for her, which she loved. As soon as we got there, she found a spot at the table and got busy creating her own projects.

We both wore our Halloween earrings and felt pretty festive. :)

 

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It was really fun to see how we were all working with the same materials for the most part, but came up with different wreaths.

 

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Isn’t that bow amazing? My aunt has some serious bow-making skills, so she made them all for us.

 

And here’s mine….

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Pardon the iPhone picture on this one…..technology….gets me here and there.

 

So, that was my Halloween Crafternoon. I’d definitely do it again and like I said above, I can’t wait to have one in December for Christmas :)

 

Until next time, hope you’re having an amazing day 😀

~Cozetta xo